Plenty of Fish

If you Google “10 famous people who married their cousins” you’ll learn that Einstein, Darwin, Bach, Rudy Giuliani, and six others totally missed out on eHarmony and Plenty of Fish.

They all fell in love the old-fashioned way – at family functions. At Thanksgiving, while the rest of us were eating turkey and cranberry sauce, they were playing footsie. At Christmas, they found themselves under the mistletoe with Uncle Nate’s daughter. I never realized that sharing a grandmother was a turn on.

When I was young, you went to a dance and looked across the floor to find the cutest girl you could find and imagined asking her to dance. Then you went home … alone.

In my Senior high school years, bolstered by liquid courage, I took those tentative first steps. Sometimes, I was lucky (slow dance). Sometimes she was “too tired.”

“God, you must be out of shape,” I felt like saying, but never did.

I missed out on Match.com, OK Cupid, LavaLife and Chemistry. I’ve always enjoyed writing fiction so I think I would have been good on these sites. Women might have crossed the floor and asked me to dance after reading my profile. With a little Photoshop and an inflated income, I might have been quite the download.

That’s my theory.

I got lucky. When I met my wife-to-be, I mumbled my name and she mistook me for a well-known rich playboy. That wasn’t the last thing she got wrong. By the time she figured out her mistake, I was in. She liked me. I made her laugh. She gave up millions for a good chuckle.

I got the last laugh.

I love hearing stories about how people met and fell in love. If you ask the guy, his version will be way too short.

“We met at a dance.”

“And …?”

“We started going out.

“Nice.”

Then you ask the wife. You suddenly hear details you never would have known … wonderful lovely stuff that he has totally forgotten.

Fifty years from now, when you ask a guy how he met his girl he’ll say – Plenty of Fish.

Just ignore him and ask her the real story.

 

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